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Many parents who read this will understand that many activities, passions, and even relationships with others fall by the wayside after having a child. However, this does not mean that you have to throw in the towel of your current relationship with your spouse. If anything, it is even more important to continue to find ways to keep the love alive with your partner. I would like to highlight a few ways you all can continue to keep the light of passion burning between you and your spouse.
1. Continue to “Date” Each Other
When you first got together with your partner, chances are that you spent quite a bit of time going on dates. You spent time getting to know each other and exploring each other’s interests while finding fun activities to do. After the baby (or being together for a long time), it is still SUPER important to continue to date each other. Exploring the other person’s passion or finding a new cool thing to do in your city can keep it fun for the two of you. Even if you’re in a small town with very little to do, I promise you that you can find something interesting you have never considered. Some suggestions I can give for a date night could include but not limited to the following:
- Airbnb experiences
- Dance class
- Cooking class
- Food tour
- Game night
- Sports game
- Escape room
- Art class
The options are unlimited in regards to ideas for a date night. It is very important that you take the time out of your busy lives to explore something fun to do with your partner. Consequently, these types of experiences will keep a bond between you and your partner with a memory to talk about forever.
2. Physical Touch
Next up on my list is the importance of physical touch. The first thing you might think of when I say physical touch is doing the deed that created your child in the first place. While I do advocate the importance of such a deed to keep you two close, I also advocate for other ways to incorporate physical touch into your relationship. When life gets hectic, we all tend to neglect the other person’s needs for our own self-preservation. All it takes is two seconds to give your partner a hug unexpectedly. Maybe you can plant a passionate kiss right on your partner to let them know you are thinking about them. You can even play tag around the house. Avoid taking the guess work out of it and have fun with it.
Besides, it is crucial that we are intentional with our touches. Research has shown that humans need 8 to 10 touches a day for our own physical and mental health. If you really care about your partner’s needs, be sure to give them some physical touches throughout the day or when you first greet each other. If you are feeling any neglect, lead by example and communicate your need of touch by your partner. This will only help with maintaining the relationship between the two of you.
3. Celebrate and Compliment Each Other
I think this suggestion is pretty straightforward. Become your spouse’s #1 fan. Practice being their cheerleader. Gas them up with a ton of confidence. The relationship will grow stronger if your partner knows you believe in them. Meanwhile, your partner will love the fact that you recognize something they have accomplished. It doesn’t even have to be any huge goal that was achieved. Telling them thank you and how much you appreciate them packing your lunch. It can be as small as showing gratitude for them buying you a candy bar at the store. That will really let them know that you are thankful for them being in your life.
If I am going to be perfectly honest with you all, this is probably the one I am the least comfortable with in general. Giving and receiving compliments can be hard. However, it is possible that you can overcome this. The way I did it is me practicing and forcing myself to acknowledge something that I like about the other person. My suggestion to you all is to practice this with your partner. Tell them that their hairstyle looks good on them. Let them know you are proud of them for finishing a small goal they set out for that day. Post on social media about the way they persevered through a tough situation. I forced myself to do all of this. Because of that, I now recognize the opportunities to celebrate and compliment my wife are endless. Plus, it can lead to you two feeling more connected.
4. Value Your Partner
The last suggestion I will give in keeping your relationship with your spouse, I suggest placing high value on what your partner has to offer. There are some similarities with celebrating your partner but there are differences as well. Placing a high value means that you care about what your better half has to offer. It also means outside of your children, they have top priority in your life.
The way this can be shown to them is through your actions. Ask yourself these questions about your actions. Do you take the time to listen to your partner’s opinion? Would you rather spend time with your friends or with your spouse? Do you ever invite them out to hang with other people in your life? Are you respectful to them and avoid belittling them? Those are a few questions out of many that one can ask about valuing your partner.
With those questions, I am not suggesting that you have to be perfect when answering them. Remember, perfection is impossible and there will be times your significant other will feel some form of slight or disrespect by you. On the other hand, take a moment and humble yourself and apologize for your actions. Even when they might feel devalued, you can always show that you value them by saying sorry and trying to improve on whatever caused the issue.
In short, it is imperative to continue to create a spark and continue to date your partner. Having a baby does not mean that your relationship has to take a backseat. I have provided suggestions for all of you to use to continue bonding with your partner and build on what you have already established. Being intentional with your touches, celebrating your partner, continuing to date, and valuing your partner are things we all can do to show we care. Certainly, those strategies will help your relationship to continue to flourish.
However, there are many other creative ways to preserve the love you have for your significant other that I did not list. Therefore, I am requesting anyone who reads this post to comment on things you have done in your relationships that helps you keep your bond. What are things you are currently doing in your relationship that I did not consider? Please share so that we can all learn from each other.
Cameron is the creator of Supportive Fathers. He created Supportive Fathers as a way to help explore topics other dads encounter in everyday life. Cameron is very passionate about being a father to 2 year old daughter as well as being the husband possible to his wife. To read more of his story, please click here.